Thu 180321 Bet £30.00/Lost: £3.00 bal.

THU 180321 BET £30.00/LOST: £3.00 BAL

Tonight, I went and bet £30.00 on William Hill roulette; it lost...I was left with just £3.00 balance...which is when I decided to quit.

Before my bank balance said: £101.00; and, now, it says just: £71.00 left. I think of all the things I could have done with the £30.00...including leave it inside of the a/c....in order to pay bills, later on; then, I think that the 'gambling' was a total waste of time...not to mention a truly dreadful waste of money, as well.

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However, when you are an 'addictive' gambler...; then, it's very difficult, indeed, to stop...; when you have this constant 'itch' going on...that you just cannot wait to scratch...?! Even after losing, the feeling I have is one of sheer 'emotional' fulfilment/release...; as opposed to strictly 'logical' feelings of regret.

I think, what I really should have done...if I 'must' go gambling...is just invest...£5/£10...and, no more. But, investing £30.00 is way too much...especially so, if I realise that the only time the 'addictive' gambler -(me)- is ever, well and truly, going to stop...is when they have little/or, no money left to play with; so, it really doesn't matter how much they either 'win/lose'...because, whatever the outcome is...they just cannot stop gambling.

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Looking at things using my 'logical' brain...and, speaking purely as an 'after thought'...instead of going and dumping the money into my William Hill a/c....I would much rather I'd went and spent that £30.00 on buying myself some much needed food.

I brought only chocolates; but, certainly, nothing sensible...I should have brought curry & rice/egg fried rice/-etc. Then, another part of me is thinking...maybe, it's got something to do with 'too much sugar'...and, 'living for being on a high'...after all, they say both 'body/brain' are quite closely interconnected...?!


 



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